Thoughts and podcasts – A review of my current listens by Apple Podcasts 

By Fatma Zahra Rashid

Lucky Boys- By Tortoise Investigates 

https://www.tortoisemedia.com/listen/lucky-boy

“A harrowing tale of manipulation, survival, and the fight for justice.”

What a roller coaster! Disclaimer, this review discusses topics covered in the podcast, including instances of sexual abuse, predatory behavior and instances of descriptive misogyny, which some readers may find disturbing. 

This one put so many competing thoughts and questions in my head and made me think about so many predatory behaviours that are largely ignored. I will give context without spoiling too much; oh well, maybe I will spoil it. The podcast is in 4 parts and follows the story of a young boy, 14 years old, who engaged in sexual relations with a chemistry teacher, Sally Ann Bowen (yes, I am using her name because she should be shamed); you can already tell the direction of this story and how common it actually really is. The relationship first started off as ‘innocent’ (I am putting it in quotes because in no way, shape or form should such a relationship be perceived as innocent). It was a calculated, methodical process by a teacher well aware of her position of authority and a boy, a teenager who is well below the age of consent. According to Gareth, she continuously made weird remarks from the onset, and would go on endless walks with him, take him out for drinks at a pub, and, worse still, invite him over to her house.

The story progresses very intensely, and it’s even more captivating that the survivor (aka Gareth) is the one behind most of the storytelling in the podcast (a fresh first-person account). Now things take a turn really fast; she begins constantly seeing him engaging in sex and makes him believe that he is special, that their relationship is sacred (aka don’t you dare snitch and tell anyone about us), and she was so convincing that the boy believed it. He believed it so much that he started perceiving their interactions as an actual relationship. He became hypersexual, and this affected so many of his adult relationships that he pushed everyone away, including his mother and sister. It strained many of his relationships, and it is only around his 40s (yes, this took place in the 1980s – relevance will come later on) that he was truly confronted with what had happened to him. What triggered this? Well, he saw that she was actively still teaching (this came after he thought, through talking to his school back then, that she was banned from teaching). 

On why the 80s? Well, society at large has made significant progress in securing the protection rights of children. The renewed Sexual Offences Act from 1995 was rephrased in 2003 to explicitly include legislation against various forms of child sexual abuse. Despite these legislations, many predators move unscathed, and worse still, if it involves members belonging to an institution (think a business, school, or law firm). The protectionist nature of these institutions is to secure their image far more than dealing with the root of the problem. In this case, Gareth came forward with his claims (he was convinced that at that point in time it was evident that they were in some sort of relationship). The result was the teacher convinced his mother that perhaps her son is on drugs. And they did not even bother to report to the police, and they waited for the teacher’s contract to end, resulting in her just shifting schools. Why is it relevant now? Well, this is no new case; the nature of

Such interactions have been made even worse with online predatory behaviour. Statistics put the number of online sexual abuse content at 99.5% especially with unregulated social media. Well, I will cut the rest of the story out because, well, this deserves a listen in its own right. Key takeaways: NEVER, and I repeat NEVER, ignore what a child tells you. Whenever your child makes a weird comment out of the blue, it usually traces back to something they picked up from somewhere. And, institutions need to do BETTER. The frustration I had with this particular school (Christ College Finchley – a boys school) was unfathomable. And the perception that as a man you should be happy to have had that experience is absurd to me.

To conclude, I recently came across a TikTok video that said, “Maybe the reason this generation is hypersexual is because the last generation molested us,” and it had me spiralling. It prompted a deeper reflection on how we demonise hookup culture, why we detach and reduce relationships to sex, and worse still, how we tend to sexualise nearly all forms of interaction- suggesting that perhaps this stems from a much deeper generational trauma. And, as it may be, this may not apply to everyone, but it is certainly an interesting take. This case is definitely one of many, and I find that male victims are taken far less seriously (and this is an even bigger discussion). We need to do BETTER! Listen more, judge less and HOLD all perpetrators accountable.