The Graduate Grapevine: Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

By The Graduate Press Editorial Board

Q: “Since starting at the Institute, I have been trying to find a balance between keeping in touch with friends from my hometown and college, but also making new memories with the people I’ve met here. With everyone in different life stages, I find that it’s just a little harder to connect with the people I’ve grown up with now. I’m putting in the effort to communicate, but fear it might not be enough… How can I find the balance between maintaining old friendships and building new ones?”

Dear Balancing Act,

Congratulations on your thoughtfulness and commitment to your loved ones! The transition from familiarity to a fresh chapter can be simultaneously exhilarating and overwhelming. Your concerns about maintaining existing friendships while exploring new ones are completely normal and valid. Let us start by acknowledging that over time, every group of friends develops its own brand of communication, list of priorities and triggers, and fascinating quirks. While this column cannot account for the uniqueness of your circle, we hope to ease the anxiety of navigating complex dynamics!

One strategy that might help is embracing the concept of quality over quantity. Instead of fixating on the frequency of communication, focus on the depth of your interactions. Share meaningful updates, reminisce about shared experiences and make an effort to schedule catch-ups, even if they’re virtual. Consider establishing traditions that make the most sense for your new and ever-evolving circumstances. Whether it’s a monthly virtual game night, a shared online book club, or even a collaborative playlist, these activities can create a sense of togetherness. Successful long-term associations are often a marathon, not a sprint! They take time to cultivate and feel secure within. You will sometimes have to take a break, or a step back to reconsider what truly nourishes you and your relationships, but quality connections withstand the tests of time and distance. 

Now, let’s address the fear that your efforts might not be enough. Remember, friendships are a two-way street. If your friends back home and at college are genuinely invested in your well-being, growth and evolution, they will understand the challenges of your current journey. True friends will stand by you while weathering the storm, even if there are moments of quiet or separation. Share your experiences and feelings with them, and encourage open communication – it’s often the bridge that spans the gap created by physical miles. 

Navigating friendships when everyone is in different life stages can feel like trying to synchronise a group dance where each person has their own unique rhythm. Moving away to study adds another layer to this challenge, but it is critical to recognize that paths diverge naturally as life unfolds. While it’s disheartening not to connect with friends as seamlessly as before, this shift simply marks a phase of personal growth and individual exploration. Embracing these differences as part of the natural ebb and flow of life allows for a more open-hearted perspective. As you embark on your academic adventure, it’s an opportunity to form new connections that complement your evolving self, enriching the tapestry of your life with varied experiences and relationships. 

Steering the conversation to building new friendships – it’s like planting seeds in a garden; it takes time, care, and a bit of trial and error. One of the beautiful aspects of being at the Geneva Graduate Institute is the opportunity to meet people from diverse backgrounds and value systems. Embrace this multiplicity, and don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Attend social events, join clubs, and be open to fostering connections with people you might not have encountered in your hometown or college. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that building new bonds doesn’t diminish the value of your existing friendships or shared history. It’s not about replacing the old with the new; rather, it’s about expanding your social circle to include an assortment of perspectives that enhance your overall experience!

Wishing you a harmonious symphony of connections this spring, 

The Graduate Grapevine

The Graduate Grapevine is the Graduate Press’ advice column, a team effort from the Editorial Board, where we combine our life experiences to answer relatable questions on school, relationships and life at large. Submit questions via this form, or send us a DM on Instagram anytime!