The Graduate Grapevine: Strike While It’s Hot

By The Graduate Press Editorial Board

Q: I have a crush on one of my classmates but I don’t think he likes me like that. I believe that he will only date someone that is a close friend to him, and we have become quite close recently. Should I make a move by confessing? 

Dear Drunk in Love,

We recognise that you have chosen to undertake the risky voyage that is to venture into the practice of intra-community dating within the Graduate Institute. These are treacherous waters, and we would be flailing on our duties if we did not give you sufficient caution about what lies ahead. 

The pertinent question is are you in the same disciplinary program or MINT track as this person of interest, or is this romantic comedy unfolding in a one-off elective? Given how tightly-knit the social fabric of the Institute is, we imagine that dating someone from the same track could be perceived as being rather incestuous and may even turn out to be uncomfortable in the long run. i.e. if things take a turn for the worse. The stakes are quite high as one may possibly face the omnipresent danger of an awkward cafeteria run-in, and in the worst case scenario, having to possibly collaborate on a group project during the remainder of your time at the Institute. Let us not hasten and forget to note that each individual also comes with their unique set of scorned past lovers at the Institute, and their collective defense obligations can often mirror those of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. 

Now that you have carefully considered the delicacies of the situation at hand, we shall delve into how we see the roads diverging in these perilous woods. 

Our eagerness in recommending a flirtatious confession, however, is directly dependent on how long you have been pursuing proximity, emotional or otherwise, to this person of interest. As the age-old saying goes, strike while the iron is hot; making an aggressive pursual too early or a tad too late can lead to a debilitating blow to any hopes of a successful cuffing season. Upon closely inspecting the intricate workings of the blacksmith, we can concur that a strike must be made at the precise moment to avoid the iron transfiguring into an undesired shape or form. In your case, the risks run high that you might be left with a ghastly awkward dynamic in your lap or the loss of a meaningful friendship. 

Be that as it may, if your sole motive of befriending this person of interest was to ultimately betroth them, we encourage you to see this Machiavellian plan of yours to its completion. Should your reading of the friendship be accurate, i.e., you have become sufficiently close as of recent and feel as though you are standing on the horizon of happiness, we urge you to take a leap forward. We will take you on the assertions that you made in your inquiry, and proclaim this leap to be not one based solely in faith and cruel optimism. Your intentional moves and choices have led you to this very moment and it is time to commit, in more ways than one. 

Sincerely,

The Graduate Grapevine

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The Graduate Grapevine is The Graduate Press’ newly launched advice column. Submit questions via this form, or send us a DM on Instagram anytime. The Graduate Grapevine is a team effort from the TGP’s editorial board, where we combine our life experiences to answer relatable questions on school, relationships, and life at large.